Friday, February 22, 2008

"No Thanks, I Do Not Need Your Pity"

I know some Christians feel sorry for me because of my desire to be a homemaker, but I really do not need the pity. God has completely changed my heart in the past few years from being border-line feminist, to desiring His will for me as a future homemaker. Upon telling others that this is my last year of school, I get cocked heads, and sad faces. I do not need someone's pity for pursuing God's purpose for me in life. By the way, I really pity those who pity me.


Melissa said...

Isn't it interesting how many people offer their opinion when you didn't ask for it?

I say go for it! As long as God's leading you, you are doing the right thing!

Many Blessings,

Candy :) said...

Hi Melissa!
I know what you mean..
You will always have people, even Christians, that will never understand why you chose to be a homemaker.
Im encouraged though that little by little that some eyes are opening, some Christians are either starting to read their Bibles and understand Gods desire for man and woman. Or, some women are understanding you cant do it cant be a superwoman, superwife, supermom. You cant go to work all day and then come home and keep up the home and family life. Something will be neglected. So I think sooner or later, women are going to crash, they will get burnt out and realize what they doing their family and themself. And realize the blessings that comes with following God's plan and how fabulous life is when your at home, when your able to manage the home and family life.
Keep doing what your doing, stay firm in your beliefs and stay encouraged, because I believe one day we'll get to see many more women become homemakers.
CAndy :)

Ruby said...

welcome to the club! :)

Mrs. U said...

I think feminism has crept into the hearts and minds of Christians so very slowly that they can't see the forest for the trees!!!

I am very happy to know that you are desiring to follow what the Lord wants instead of what the world wants. Is it easy? NO!!! Is it worth it? OOOOHHHHH YESSS!!!

Mrs. U

PS- I LOVE your new banner "Proud to be a Lady Against Feminism"!!!!! Very pretty!!!!

Steven Gabbard said...


First, let me start off by saying that you are a great sister and a strong woman of God. However, I must now take a brotherly stab (out of love of course) at your post. As far as pity goes, don’t get that mistaken for, “I’m sorry to hear that you surrendered to the world and quit college.” Moving on…

ATTENTION ALL READERS: Please remove your feelings from your sleeve before you continue reading. Not doing so could be emotionally dangerous.

There are very few things greater in this world than a woman who loves and serves the Lord, her husband, and her family. Because of a mental disorder known as liberalism and the unpopular feminist movement, it has become harder to find a great example of someone who pulls off all three with aplomb that just makes you think, wow! I’m not going to knock liberalism or the feminist movement as I would most likely be preaching to the choir. There’s enough of that happening in many churches that have remained lukewarm and consistently reek of staleness. Instead, I’m going to focus on the “home makers” and I’m going to break it into two categories; laziness and godliness.

When a woman is called to become a wife or a mom, she must make decisions that could affect the rest of her life. Does she continue school, does she pursue the dreams she had as a child, does she put her goals to the side in order to fully support those of her husband, does she stop working (even if it’s a dead-end job), does she stay at home 24/7, does she work from home, does she start her own business, etc. The list goes on and on but each question is as valuable as the next. When a woman follows the calling of the Lord, who can argue with her? That calling may be in the form of staying at home to serve the family or getting more involved in the church. Either way, it doesn’t matter. It’s a calling from the Lord and it should not be ignored or taken lightly.

My problem is not the “home makers” who want to carry out that role to its fullest capacity, my problems are with the slothful women (and in some cases men) who want to create that imaginary calling from the Lord and use it as an “I can stay at home and watch TV all day and stay dumb” pass while at the same time, attacking Christian women who have received the blessing of doing many things great.

Proverbs 31 10:31 gives characteristics of an ideal and godly woman. Maybe I’m reading it wrong, but it makes a lot of references to a woman working – not in the same capacity we think of today, but life as a true home-maker was no easy task and as Mrs. U mentioned, it should not be thought of as one. Here are a few things I picked up on when reading it:
• finding a respected, learned and well-to-do man to be her husband
• spinning and weaving cloth, to make the family's clothing and in the earlier period the tents they lived in
• making and selling finished items of clothing
• designing and making suitable clothing for all members of the household, for both winter and summer
• dressing herself well and attractively
• keeping herself physically and mentally strong and fit
• giving religious instruction to her children: she was their first teacher
• gathering food and assembling a varied and healthy diet for the members of the household
• administering the finances of the family and overseeing the family business, with all the necessary skills
• buying investment property wisely
• supervising investments and making a profit from them, then re-investing the profits
• performing charitable work and caring for the poor
• organizing and supervising the tasks of all the servants in the household
• overseeing the emotional and physical well-being of all the members of the household
• being available at all times to anyone who needed her

As your brother, I know the responses you have received after making your decision better than I know your reasoning and on that same note, I must point out of the obvious. Melissa, who is your husband and where is your home? What about the kids you want to take care of – where are they at? How do you know that you can have kids? One of the guys in my men’s group had to go through this situation years ago. He and his wife were unable to have kids. Adopting is not an easy process and the costs are continuously increasing. My friend and his wife were finally able to adopt and now they want to do it again but this time it isn’t as affordable (if it ever was). Instead of costing $12,000 with 50% down, the service they are going through wants $14,000 and 75% down. Money should not necessarily be used as an excuse to not have kids, but it could halt your plan of getting married and overnight becoming a mom. Has the Lord called you to make this decision or did you tell the Lord what you wanted and hoped He agreed with you? I’ve learned how big of a fall one can take when they build themselves up on their own cloud/plan only to have everything sucked out from under you because it wasn’t His plan. On that same note, I’ve learned how amazing it is to follow the path created by the Lord and answering His call.

Candy makes the comment, “some women are understanding you cant do it cant be a superwoman, superwife, supermom.” Are you sure about that, Candy? I don’t know you personally, but I think you should replace “some women are” with the words “I am”? The word “super” is normally determined by the individual, but I’m willing to bet you (my sister) lunch that you know a few women who have pulled off the role as Super ________ (fill in the blank) pretty well while keeping their relationship with the Lord, their husband, and their family as the most important thing in their life.

Now, what about the Christian woman who decides to get an education and not use their “I can stay at home and watch TV all day and stay dumb” pass – should they be criticized? I don’t think so but I think your opinion may be different for the wrong reason. Some women are called to stay at home with their current family (not a hopeful and futuristic family) and others are called to serve right now! Not tomorrow, but right now! They may serve at home, or yes, they may even serve at work and radiant their light to the hundreds of people they come in contact with daily.

Melissa, you have a good understanding of the Word, but you are selling yourself short by withholding your testimony and the life you live and staying at home and avoiding the world. Go into the world, be the light, be the salt, make people talk, make them watch… be out there. The world needs more Christian women out their representing the Lord. Talk about hypocrisy. You understand your role as a Christian woman, but you want to hide it from non-Christian women – why is that? You may be thinking, “No I don’t, I never said that.” But you did and you are. How beneficial is it for a preacher to preach to Christians versus preaching to the lost souls? It’s all about that 1 lost sheep – not the 99. It’s great to serve your family, but don’t take a perfect example of a Christian lady, lock her up in the home only to mock non-Christians who have not had an example to follow. Well, get out of the house and let them see you! How are they supposed to learn if they can’t watch you and other godly women in action?

Which ever choice you decide, make sure it is for the right reason and comes from the Lord. Don’t give up something you are passionate about because the going gets tough. I call that being weak.

I may post this comment on my website,, and see what my readers think about my response.

In conclusion, if you, the reader, has got this far, thank you for taking the time to read my reply. If you were offended, you are welcome. That’s the part you have to play when you get involved in “hot topics” such as this one.

Sincerely, your brother,

Steven Gabbard

Melissa said...


I have do not know how to respond to your comment.

JSU said...


As your brother in the Lord and long-time acquaintance, I don't think this was the place. Perhaps a phone call would have been more appropriate for a "brotherly stab".

As for the home-makers who say "I can stay at home and watch TV all day and stay dumb", that's not a home-maker. You're assuming that those who don't go to college are staying "dumb" and that those who do, will be smarter and earn more money (and be more of a witness for God).

If Melissa were to get out in the world and shine through a career, would she be in God's will or yours?

Though you may think you are conservative against liberalism/feminism, but you have bought the lie. You think that a woman at home is a wasted life; A life that God can't use for its utmost. This is the manifestation of feminism.

You asked, "How are they supposed to learn if they can’t watch you and other godly women in action?" They watch and learn by her example of being a home-maker who desires to be a godly woman.


Steven's future brother in-law said...

Who said that a housewife has to be "locked up" Steven? A woman can be a housewife and still be out in public. ..right? (correct me if I'm wrong)

I do agree that there is a difference between a woman called to be a housewife and just a pure lazy housewife. And women do need to watch out when they have nothing to do.

I know your being the big brother and that's ok, isn't there a better way of telling your sister how you feel instead of posting on a personal about a phone call... even e-mail comes in better than posting on a blog.

dsstanfield said...

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him an help meet for him.'" Genesis 2:18

Woman's mission.... who better to define it than the One who created woman. He who created woman is best qualified to declare the intention of His own acts.

Mr Gabbard, you stated:

"They may serve at home, or yes, they may even serve at work and radiant their light to the hundreds of people they come in contact with daily."

I would ask for the Scripture in the Bible that states a woman may choose to "let her light shine in the workplace" rather than letting it shine in regards to being a helpmeet for her husband, or in the upbringing of her Covenant children.

Here are some of the Scriptures I find:

"Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."

"Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

"The aged women likewise, that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the WORD OF GOD BE NOT BLASPHEMED."

John Angell James says this:

"A woman who fills well the sphere assigned to her as a good wife, a mother, and a mistress-- who trains up good citizens for the state, and good fathers and mothers of other families which are to spring from her own, and so from generation to generation in all but endless succession--need not complain that her sphere of action and her power of influence are too limited for female ambition to aspire to.

Who but a few wild visionaries, rash speculators, and mistaken advocates of woman's rights would take her from the home of her husband, of her children, and of her own heart, to wear out her strength, consume her time, and destroy her feminine excellence in committee rooms, on platforms, and in mechanics' or philosophical institutions?"

Now, please let me say here that I am not against a woman being educated. If a woman aspires to home educating, then she should strive to be as knowledgeable as possible in many areas, theology included. However, I don't advocate the world's definition of education. Four years in a state university does not necessarily make an "educated" individual. There are more ways to be educated than through the humanistic, statist curriculums one finds today in the local university. Any endeavors a young woman may make so that she will be a suitable helpmeet for a future husband and a Godly mother for her future children are not made in vain. A man would be blessed to find a young Godly woman who has prepared herself for such.

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain."

Have you ever heard the saying "He who rocks the cradle rules the world?"

There is no denying the influence that a mother may have on her children. Would you be willing to forego this influence and allow another to usurp the mother's position via day care, public education, nannies, etc? Would you allow another to have the primary influence in your child's life so that your wife could let her "light shine in the work place."

Even our Lord said, "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

How about this one: "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." (Eph. 6:4)

Now I submit that when mothers and fathers place their children in government schools where humanism reigns and Godliness is spurned, they are indeed provoking their children. Add to this equation a mother who would rather work than stay home with these children, so that she could be "fulfilled," and the situation becomes even more heinous. Yet, our churches are filled with this mentality, and the leadership refuses to denounce it for fear of offending.

It is universally admitted that scarcely any great man has appeared in our world who did not owe much, if not most, of the formation of his character to his mother's influence.

Timothy, St. Augustine, Alfred the Great, Lord Bacon, Sir Isaac Newton, Dr. Samuel Johnson, and General Washington are just a few men that come to mind. Our Sovereign Lord gave all these men pious, attentive mothers who were instrumental in forming their characters. May we as mothers never take this task lightly. Our greatest sphere of influence should be our own families first. Every day living provides numerous opportunities for being an example or encouraging others. I can not tell you how many conversations I have had with other mothers, both Christians and non Christians, while at the park, library, or ball field. More than once these encounters have ended with young mother's coming over to my house to look at curriculum or just to talk.

Upon reflection, I believe that my influence has been greater in society because I am a "keeper at home." After meeting my family, and seeing how we interact, people have come to our church. Because we are some kind of "super-spiritual" people?..... No, but they do recognize that there is a difference. Finding a father and mother who are willing to sacrifice material things in order to train up their children is not easily found in most churches today. What an opportunity the Lord has provided me. My prayer is that by His grace, I will continue to be able to further the Kingdom. I also pray that the Lord will bless my efforts, and that my daughters will indeed one day rise up and call me blessed, and that their children in the future generations to come will do the same for them. In all this, may the Lord receive the glory!

Steven Gabbard said...


Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. I hope you are doing well.

“I don’t think this was the place.” Isn’t this where you post your comments and opinions to responses? What’s the difference? Mine is in opposition to what the majority of readers of this blog believe, but what is wrong with that? Christians need to make sure they do not get sucked into group-think. Melissa is my sister and a phone call is great, but a direct reply to an original post was my desired method of responding just as you have responded to me.

You missed my point when I was talking about the “home-makers” who use the pass. They are not home-makers – if anything, they are home-wreckers. When I think of a true home-maker (one who stays at home), I think of someone such as Mrs. U or my granny.

As for college, you are wrong again. Melissa will be one of the first to tell you that I think college is overrated. Do I have a college degree? Yes, I have an MBA. But I do not think my MBA will cause me to make more money and be smarter than someone who only has a high-school education. That is something I never assume. I’m not sure how going or not going to college (non seminary school) will make one a better witness.

I have never told Melissa where she should work but I’ve told her where I think she should not work. Again, I’m not sure how her taking the path of a career would be part of my will if I have never told her what to do.

As for my conservatism, I am conservative… not to the extreme like Fred Phelps and his cult at Westboro Baptist Church, but I am conservative and have not been sucked into the feminist movement by any means. Again, Melissa and those who know me could testify to that. Where did I say that a woman at home is a wasted life? I’m not going to put words in your mouth and I appreciate the same in return.

My wife, Sheena and I have already talked about her staying home… once there is a reason. Right now, we do not have kids and there is no need for her to be stay at home. She gets home before I do and is able to have dinner ready when I am ready to eat, the house stays clean because she understands the importance of continuous cleaning and not letting it get out of hand, she supports me and the current path the Lord is leading me down, and she shows a continuous and amazing love towards me that can only be found in a godly woman. So what’s wrong with her working during the day, earning money, us paying off loans/house payment, and saving it so that when it is time for her to stay home, we will not have to worry about finances?

You said, “They watch and learn by her”. Who is They and who is Her? If They are the non-Christians desiring to be a godly woman and Her is Melissa, then when will they be able to see and learn from her? By reading a blog? No! Instead, they will need to see her walking in faith every day even when the battles are difficult.

Steven Gabbard

Lydia said...

I do not know you, but, apparently, we are family, brother and sister in Christ. As a homemaker, mother, and wife to a pastor, I have to say I was not offended by your reply, but saddened. You have, like so many others, let feminism creep into your life without knowing it. It's not hard. We were raised with it, and it is everywhere. I believe the Bible tells us though to be in the world, not of it.

The Bible calls all married women, especially those with children, to be homemakers. I believe it is the calling of all married women. However, I know that many women choose to work. I am not putting them down nor can I make their decisions for them. If they choose to work, that is their business. I however cannot agree with that, especially those with children. I think the saddest day in this country was when mothers went to work and began leaving their children in the hands of strangers. I think it was the beginning of the deterioration of the family.

Also, sir, you are mistaken that women who choose to be homemakers are dumb. I quit college to be a homemaker (yes I was married at the time. I got married right out of high school) I, though, am not dumb. I made straight A's all through school. I was in the National Honor Society, on the Dean's list when I was in college, and in Phi Theta Kappa, an honor's society. I am not bragging, just showing that those of us who have not completed college are not without brains in our heads. There is also much to be said for learning from life, and especially the Lord. In fact, I believe a spiritual education is far more important than a worldy one. Why would I want to pay money for some liberal unsaved heathen to teach me worldy things, when I can learn from the Bible, my husband, my pastors, and the Holy Spirit? And don't tell me to go to a Christian college because, sadly enough, many of them are just as liberal as the secular ones.

Furthermore, you basically stated that women who stay at home are not as much of a witness because they are not out in the world. Well, I believe you are wrong there as well. Simply by our lifestyle, serving our husbands, being submissive, loving and raising our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, that, my dear brother, is a witness in and of itself. Not to mention, we can witness to those we meet in the grocery store, doctor's office, etc. We are not completely cut off from the world just because we are homemakers!!

Another thing which is kind of off the topic, but you mentioned, so I thought I would say something about it. You said, and I quote, "How beneficial is it for a preacher to preach to Christians versus preaching to the lost souls? It’s all about that 1 lost sheep – not the 99." I believe, sir, that you are mistaking the role of a preacher/pastor with the role of an evangelist. The job of a preacher/pastor is to minister to the flocks God has entrusted to them. Preach to them, edify them, teach them to take the Gospel into the world, feed them the Word so they grow spiritually, equip them.

I am a pastor's wife, and my husband and any other pastor that I know, (and I know many), will tell you that that is their first and most important role. That is what they are called to do! Of course they are to tell others about Christ, reach out to their community, but their first most important role is to minister to their flock.

You have also used this verse wrongly because when the Bible talks about sheep, it is talking about those who are born again. This illustration says that a shepherd will leave the 99 sheep and go after the one who has wandered away. This means a Christian that has backslidden, not an unsaved person. I believe unsaved people are referred to as goats.

Anyhow, as I said, I was not offended because personally, I do not care what people think. I know that I am fulfilling my God-given duty as a wife and mother, and I know that my Savior is happy with that. That's all that matters to me. I couldn't care less of the opinions of others or the world. I am serving my husband and raising my children, and I believe that is the most admirable thing a woman can do.

And those who say women have to work because in this day and time you need two incomes, I can tell you that is a lie. My husband's income is our sole income, and we have never gone without anything we needed and even have things that are luxuries, that we don't need. Believe me, it's not like he has a high-paying job either. The fact is, if you are faithful to the Lord's calling, He will provide everything you need.

To wrap it up, I was saddened by your attitude toward your sister. If this is what she believes God is calling her to do, instead of breaking her down, you should be building her up and supporting her. I am sad that so many in our churches have let themselves be taken in by the feminism in this country. It's just sad.

Steven Gabbard said...


Is the name you are using some kind of foreshadowing? Haha

No one directly said that a housewife has to be locked up, but there are both guys and gals out there who feel that the woman should stay at home and never be out and involved. That’s not me and I don’t see that being you either. But it could be some of the other readers. With that said, yes, a woman can be a housewife (and a great one at that) and be out in public.

Now, I like the idea of Sheena staying at home all day, me coming home and her handing me the newspaper, giving me a few minutes to look it over, pours me a cold glass of tea and lets me know that dinner will be ready in 20 minutes. But she was called to serve a higher purpose. She does a great job serving me as her husband, but the Lord has bigger plans for her as well.

Idle hands are the devils playground. The lazy “home-makers” are the ones that try to give the good ones a bad name just as extreme bible-thumpers often give Christianity a bad name.

One day Melissa will have a husband and this big-brother role will go away. Haha Some people have pointed out that I should have called her directly instead of posting on the Internet – why? She posted her original post on here and just like her fellow readers, this is where I posted my reply. It may not be in line with what everyone else is use to reading here, but it’s still a comment. As I’m sure you know by now (the time of reading this blog), all has been worked out and now I just have to clean up the mess that is left behind with those who decided to comment.

I hope the two of you are able to make it up here soon. If so, be sure to come up and see the house.

Steven Gabbard

Lizzie Garrett said...

Just a few questions….
Did “schools” exist during times when the Bible was written?
What about Deborah, the Judge in the Bible?
Can we pick and choose which details in the Bible we wish to follow? Do women in your church cover their heads when prayer is taking place? Do women ever wear pants? Do women cut their hair?
What is the purpose of a “blog”?
Jsu, are you sure you read Steven’s blog in its entirety?
“I would ask for the Scripture in the Bible that states a woman may choose to "let her light shine in the workplace" rather than letting it shine in regards to being a helpmeet for her husband, or in the upbringing of her Covenant children.”
Okay…fair enough dsstanfield, but what if the woman does not have a husband or Covenant children? Or what if she has one but not the other?
Are we doubting or belittling the Holy Spirit here? If someone is strong in faith then public education from a University should not interfere. If anything it should provide opportunities to witness, and to grow even stronger in faith to the Lord.

Melissa said...

Melissa (other): Thank you for your encouragement!

Candy: You're right, many Christians do not understand the homemaking position, I was once one of those. You're right about "Superness", ask a "Supermom" if she's doing it well, she'll say "yes". Ask her family if she is, they might say different. Thank you for your encouragement.

Ruby: Thanks for stopping by.

Mrs. U: I appreciate great examples like yourself. You mean so much to me. You're so right about feminism creeping into our lives, and we do not even see it coming.

Steven: No one understands what our lives have been like except us. Godly homemaking is not something that we grew up in. With God's guidance and our obedience, we can learn to trust what He called us to do.

I love you, and care for you. I'm glad we finally talked on the phone.

JSU: Thank you for always being there as my Brother in Christ. You have a great example of a godly homemaker in your life and I know you value homemaking very highly. Thank you for taking the time to comment and defend an honorable calling.

"Steven's Future Brother In-law": You know how active a lady's life can be as a homemaker. We've talked about her daily activities as important business to see that the home is run well. A homemaker is a great witness to those around her daily, at the grocery, doctor's office, post office, and in the neighborhood. Not to mention her husband's co-workers notice her relationship with her husband, and how he adores her. (Not to say a working woman's husband does not adore her, so no one better take this wrong.)

Sheena Gabbard said...

This is NOT an attack on “homemakers”, as I one day may be one. This is just a collection of thoughts that have come to mind while reading the comments from this post.

The Bible clearly states that work is required to build strong character, work is required to live, and work is part of our cards dealt from the fall of man kind all the way back at the Garden of Eden.

Life from that point on was not meant to be “easy.” We as humans would now have to earn our living from the sweat of our brow. It is not easy to be a super wife, super mom, super employee, ect. Is it supposed to be though? We as Christians are to turn to Christ and let him show strength in our weaknesses.

My mother is an excellent example of a “super” woman. She never claimed to be super in any realm of life but she has always worked in and outside the home. She has always been active in her ministry to the Lord, at church, at rest homes, and at special children’s homes. The cleanliness and order of the home has always been pristine. Food on the table was always a given, and the love she shared with her husband and two children reached out as far as her arms can stretch. This is NOT an impossible task! It is NOT easy either. When I ask her how she did all of these things…she replies with, “prayer and you just do it.”

I can promise that striving to do the best you can in these aspects of life can bring fulfillment beyond belief. Turn these things over to the Lord, it his by him we do anything worth earning the superlative title of “super.”

My mother touches countless lives on a daily basis in her job. She has influenced the lives of many children and parents alike. As Christian women we are not to hoard our hope in Christ behind closed doors we are to let it burst out from the depths of our hearts as we proclaim the hope that is within us through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Yes she ministered to my father, myself, and my brother but we were only in the house at certain times of the day.

I have a college degree, I work, I have a loving husband, and I love the Lord with all my being. I pray daily for him to do works through me first to serve my husband, and second to serve others. I will more then likely follow in my Mother’s footsteps because I see that it is possible, and it is very fruitful. With prayer all things are possible. I find more enjoyment in life by living to the fullest of its capability rather then sitting at home. I can do all my housework in one day, I can take care of my body by making time to exercise for just 30 minutes a day, if it means getting up earlier then so be it. I can cook for my husband and I by making healthy choices and planning ahead of time. I can spend time with friends and loved ones by prioritizing and being a good steward of the time I am provided. I can make the impossible possible through prayer and dependence upon the Lord.

Please do not knock down those who have chosen a different path. We live in the here and now. Jesus himself said do not worry about the troubles of tomorrow, for you have enough troubles to concern you for today. Today I do not have children, so why worry about being home to tend to children? I will handle that when it presents its self as a blessing.

Now… do I consider myself to be plagued with feminism? Do I consider my Mother to be an activist, because she worked a job outside the home? NO WAY! I see her and I both as daughters of the King who are using our talents He has blessed us with to minister to the World. The Bible does say to minister to the World right? Or…as a woman am I to consider my home my world? I do agree that a woman’s home is her first and upmost duty but what about the rest of my spare time. I am my husband’s helper and if that means working for now to build a strong and secure home then I see no harm or wrong doing.

Our great commission is to win the lost to Christ! Why argue over the petty small things when we should be spreading love, hope, and salvation? These are the exact issues that turn the lost and new believers away from knowing Christ. These are the exact issues that bring staleness to the church. Are we putting out the fire of the Holy Spirit with our own selfish arguments? When is the last time you have seen a great revival over preaching a sermon on, “a woman’s role in life?”

It truly saddens me that a lost woman or a new believer may stumble upon readings such as these and question the true peace, holiness, and fire a relationship with Jesus Christ presents.

-Sheena Gabbard (wife of Steven Gabbard)

Melissa said...

dsstanfied: Thank you so much for your comment. It was very enriching to hear from you as you used God's Word and you very own personal examples. I appreciate you taking time to go over many issues, socialization, education and motherhood.

I agree that at home study should take place (even if one has already graduated from an institution)and the most knowledge possible should be fulfilled. I look forward to reading your comment again and again :D

Melissa said...


Thanks for portraying your thoughts with much love and kindness. As I read your comment I imagined a sweet voice, but firm in her words.

Feminism has been slowly creeping into our homes and hearts for so many years now. No wonder we are so confused. Generation after generation is buying into lies that disrupt our homes. Thank you for being a good example of a homemaking and raising her family and loving your husband.

Thank you for your bibical clarification as well :D

Melissa said...

Sheena: I'm not going to comment too much on your comment as I've discussed much with your husband, my brother.

I know you have a great mom, I do know that.

This blog was created for me to communicate my growth and love for the Lord and what He is teaching me. One day I might post on bread making, the next about my convictions. This blog was not designed as an evangelistic blog to non-Christians. Yes, I said it!

So many people love the Apostle Paul and his teaching. However, the Paul did not just talk to the lost, he was preaching to the Christians. There is nothing wrong with Christians telling of their convictions and what God is leading them to do, or bring up ideas. This blog post started as me stating my personally feelings. Now look where it is.

Melissa said...

Lizze: Thanks for your comment.

Steven Gabbard said...


You have received a lot of comments on this post. You can pay me back with Circus Peanuts.

Steven Gabbard